After 30 years, I’m discovering that what has been stopping me from reaching financial independence isn’t external circumstances. The problem is my mind!.
For many years, I’ve been trying to achieve financial independence. I’ve launched at least 20 different projects—everything from a local craft shop to mobile apps, Amazon stores, and websites and more. They all had one thing in common: they failed.
It’s only recently that I’ve begun to suspect the problem isn’t my business plan. It’s my own mind.
My "Aha" Moment, that is changing my behavior
Let me explain. I’m a professional, an electronics engineer by trade. And like most people, I took that degree and did the expected thing: I got a job. But that desire for my own business and my own success has always been there, simmering under the surface.
I first started reading “personal development” authors, particularly those focused on finance, about 20 years ago. However, it’s only recently that I’ve begun to suspect—to truly realize—that my own mind might be the very thing holding me back.
This realization came because I’ve expanded my reading list, diving into more authors in this genre and studying the histories of successful entrepreneurs. I’m trying to learn as much as I can, and I’ve noticed they all generally point to the same keys to success. The starting point is always the same: having mental clarity about your goal. (And, of course, that goal can evolve into something bigger once the initial one is achieved.)
The fact that all these authors are saying the same core things—just in different ways—combined with my 30-year track record of failure, leads me to suppose (or maybe, to realize) that they must be right about the mental aspect of success.
They all mention points like these:
- That my outer reality (my physical reality) is a reflection of my inner reality (what I think).
- You become what you think most of the time.
- The famous book by Napoleon Hill is called “Think and Grow Rich.”
And when you stop and think, it makes sense. If you think positively about the future, you motivate yourself to work hard and find ways to achieve that goal.
So, with this new knowledge, I’ve realized what my problem might be: I am afraid that money will change me. I’m afraid it will make me a greedy, selfish person, a drug addict, a womanizer, etc.
My Mind 's Self-Sabotage
According to the authors, it’s this very thought, deep in my subconscious, that’s playing tricks on me. I myself, unconsciously, am doing everything possible to keep myself from becoming a millionaire. This realization seems both logical and illogical at the same time.
- Why is it illogical? Question: Why would I intentionally want to sabotage my own projects?
- Why is it logical? Answer: To protect myself from becoming that greedy, selfish, drug-addicted, womanizing person I fear.
Even though I’ve always held that image of millionaires, I also realize that not all of them (and perhaps the vast majority) aren’t like that at all. (I don’t see Bill Gates as any of those things). Therefore, it could make sense that I am self-sabotaging. The key point is that I only became aware of this internal thought process no more than two months ago, all thanks to opening my mind to more of these authors.
Digging for the Root Cause
Trying to understand why I think this way about millionaires, I’ve realized it stems from my Christian upbringing.
Specifically, that famous Bible passage: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”
For me, as an engineer, what did this mean? It meant it was simply IMPOSSIBLE for someone with money to be a good person.
And if you add all the gossip we read about celebrities—cheating on their partners, dying from overdoses, orgies, etc.—it all just validated my conclusion (and, I thought, confirmed what Jesus said): the more money you get, the more you change for the worse.
Challenging a 50-Year-Old Belief
So, what’s changed? Why do I now think this belief system might be wrong?
- I realized I was generalizing all millionaires based on the behavior of celebrities (and I admit, I’m generalizing celebrities, as obviously not all of them are like that either).
- The idea mentioned by some authors that money doesn’t change you, it just amplifies who you already are.
- The fact that if money always changed people for the worse, that would be common knowledge and perfectly documented, wouldn’t it?
- And the fact (which makes perfect sense) that “You can’t help the poor by being one of them.”
If you add to this the fact that I would be aware of the danger, and could consciously choose not to let money influence me to do bad things, then what’s the problem? Why can’t I just erase that old belief and start fresh?
Well, it turns out that when you’ve thought the same way for over 50 years, it’s not so easy to just get it out of your brain. This is precisely why I struggle to find clarity on what I want… on my ultimate goal.
Fake It Until You Make It
Sometimes I try to define what I think is my final goal, and my brain immediately whispers, “That’s a lie, you’ll never achieve it.” (A voice that feels validated by my long history of failed projects). So, I modify the goal to something smaller, but it doesn’t matter; my brain always says the same thing: “That’s a lie. You’re wasting your time.”
But from what I’m reading, it’s normal to have these thoughts. The key is not to quit. The key is to keep going, even trying to “feel” as if you’ve already achieved the goal.
When I read stories of economically successful people, they all mention that they wrote down or constantly thought about their goal. They visualized themselves having already achieved it. For me, this is the hardest part. How can I constantly think about my goal (let alone feel it), when my brain is constantly screaming, “You’ve tried infinite projects and they have all failed. There is zero possibility that this time will be different.”
This, I suppose, is where the saying “fake it until you make it” starts to make sense.
My Real "First Step"
I would have to, somehow, constantly read, write, or listen to my goal until, very slowly, a change begins to happen. Very slowly, I might start to believe the story.
This belief might finally motivate me to take the actions I’ve always hated—for example, marketing and sales.
I have never liked playing the “salesman” or doing “marketing.” I avoid them at all costs. And right there, you can probably conclude, “No wonder your projects never worked!” This is also where the whole self-sabotage idea feels completely validated.
So, my initial goal isn’t even the project; it’s to be able to believe in the final goal. To believe it so I can finally take all the necessary actions, including the sales and marketing tasks that I dread.
This connects directly to what the authors say: personal growth requires taking action outside of your comfort zone.
This also validates their point that you “become” a different person. The journey of personal growth makes you “become a bigger person” every time you set (and work to achieve) a new goal.
This is where the authors use the example of the marathon runner. In the beginning, Person A is overweight, with little muscle and poor aerobic capacity. But by training a little every day, after a year, they can run a marathon. The initial Person A doesn’t exist anymore. They are now Person B—someone with appropriate weight, better aerobic capacity, and likely, better eating habits and time management skills. The Person A has just become the Person B.
The New Action Plan
So, the actions I need to execute are:
- Get clear on my goal. What do I really want? For this, I’ll need to sit down and think calmly, perhaps even use a meditation session just for this purpose. I must define the goal.
- Once I have the goal, I must start writing it, listening to it, and reading it constantly—until I actually believe it (which seems impossible right now).
For me, all of this is much easier said than done, and achieving it will be even harder. But at least now, I am aware of my weaknesses in this area.
I’ll let you know what actions I take.
But now, I’d love to hear from you. Are you experiencing (or have you experienced) something similar? Do you know what is limiting you? what actions are you taking—or did you take—to work through it?
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